Monday, October 26, 2009

40 Days till Shelby


I have absolutely no motivation on Mondays. This symptom is worsened after three day weekends.

Word of the day- Intoxicants.

I spent all night dreaming about Meth. Watching all those documentaries on the drug war, drug use, then there are the Montana Meth ads... it was a long night.

Which brings me to the prevailing thought of the day.

But first, below are the ten grave precepts;

  • Affirm life; Do not kill
  • Be giving; Do not steal
  • Honor the body; Do not misuse sexuality
  • Manifest truth; Do not lie
  • Proceed clearly; Do not cloud the mind
  • See the perfection; Do not speak of others errors and faults
  • Realize self and others as one; Do not elevate the self and fault others
  • Give generously; Do not be withholding
  • Actualize harmony; Do not be angry
  • Experience the intimacy of things; Do not defile the Three Treasures

  • The three treasures;
    the Buddha (enlightened self)
    the Dharma (sacred teachings)
    the Sangha (group of enlightened ones)

    The main precept I have issues with is proceed clearly, do not cloud the mind.

    Not from a substance abuse standpoint, but from an intellectual standpoint. Movies that alter mood in a negative manner, music that does same are the focal points. I truly appreciate sincere creativity, such as the movie "Donnie Darko". We watched this last night. It was very well written and presented very artistically. I connected with the main character and story line in the sense of Donnie's view of the world from a social perspective. I am not nearly as dark or narcissistic as the main character, but I understood how someone could have gone in that direction internally.

    Then, after a walk outside, Berdy and I watched the documentary American Meth (which probably brought on the night of Meth dreams).

    After Donnie Darko was over, my mood was sullen- and still is this morning- which affords me the perspective on intoxicants I am working to adopt, but still have not fully accepted. Berdy and I have had conversations in the past regarding music and movie's effects on mood and attitude. I am addicted to visual and auditory art. Dark dramas and dark techno/ triphop and industrial music tend to really grab my attention. When I can feel what the artist is portraying I get hooked for the ride and strap in with every available sense.

    Anyway, I realize I need to avoid all mood altering vehicles to fully capacitate the path to perfection. Where is the line though? I can easily avoid drugs and alcohol. But don't all forms of entertainment have an effect on us? Personal interaction also effects our mood. Work, play, kids, spouses, friends. I suppose I should end that which causes me anger only?

    I read that we are to avoid what was possible to avoid at first...

    I could avoid it all, but am I willing to burden the cost? No

    To gain the complete advantages of a path one must follow the path fully. So do only monks gain true enlightenment?

    I am not a monk and don't foresee becoming a monk in the near future.

    I am going to assume I am overthinking this and proceed with the path. I will avoid physical intoxicants and entertainment venues I know negatively alter mood such as horror films and hate music.

    Vision- a monk in the woods, following breathe, building chi.

    If the eye causes one to sin, is it better to gauge out the eye than to give into temptation? I hope not.

    Peace and compassion- it's Monday yo!

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